How I healed from past damages and regrets and learned to forgive and let go. With the help of all the things I will list below, i hope this inspires you to take action and be the best loving version of you. I believe my spiritual awakening was a call from something higher, more divine and my journey prepared me for the next stage of my life. The universe rewarded me in the end with my soulmate and i couldn’t be ever more grateful.
My quick story: At 18 and 21 I was sexually assaulted and kept that secret hidden inside. Because i had kept this secret internal, i started externally showing signs. My initial response was to go after people who weren’t good influences. I continued to make bad decisions with relationships and men. I was so lost and on purpose kept making mistakes to feel something. Life kept throwing me the same lessons in different forms of people and situations but i failed to see they were lessons. These men didn’t have the best interest in me and just wanted to hookup and i was so naive to understand this. My depression and anxiety became worse and became fixated on myself. I didn’t think i was pretty so I began fixing myself up cosmetically, and surgically. I was constantly changing my hair, posting selfies all the time. It was a vicious never ending cycle that I wanted to break.
At 25 i found myself in a narcissistic relationship. He was the CEO of a fantasy football company. I didnt care, nor knew nothing about sports but i was attracted to someone who i thought i could help fix, help change into a better man because he had issues. I picked up on the signs from the beginning on his narcissistic arrogant behavior but chose to ignore them and continued to wear rose colored glasses. His energy through me so off so bad that I could not normally function. I ended it after six months but it continued to affect me afterwards. My chakras were blocked and I was severely depressed. I wanted this karmatic lesson to be the last of its kind. I woke up one day and knew it was the start of something new. I wanted to change my life and be the best version of myself. Ever since, it’s been wonderful and scary. People don’t realize when you are healing you’re pulling up all these dead bodies. Having to go through them again to forgive and move on is the scariest, terrifying of feelings. But the release is the most rewarding experience.
My spiritual journey prepared me to be In the right mind set to attract and manifest my boyfriend. At the end of this healing process when I felt I was ready, I wrote down in my journal everything I wanted in my perfect soulmate. From the color of his hair and eyes, to his characteristics. I was so specific in what i wrote. A week later I met the man of my dreams. ONE WEEK LATER.Everything I wrote down, I had received. I thank the Universe and God everyday for sending my Jared. Everything he does comes from his heart. When i look at my Jared, i see my other half, someone i loved before i was even born.
Actual photo of part of my journal entry of what I manifested
1. The cosmic law is get rid of the old energy to make room for new energy. This applies to anything. EXIT OUT people who are toxic to you. This includes shitty friends who aren’t really your friends, exit and block fuckboys or fuckgirls. Guys or girls who you are just hooking up with. This part of the process is CRUCIAL. It’s going to be one of the hardest things to do, but deep down inside you know whats right from wrong. Abstaining from sex allows you to heal your root chakra and to become more rooted, grounded. Again, you are making room for new energy, good energy to come.
2. Honor your body with healthy foods. Plant based foods, color foods ( colors of the rainbow) vibrate on a higher frequency. Not only are you detoxing from the toxic environment by releasing bad friends and relationships, you are detoxing your body. Incorporate more fresh pressed juices, home cooked meals. Refrain from fast foods, processed microwaveable foods. Again, this is helping prepare your body for the next step.
3. Start trusting and paying attention more to your intuition when it comes to healing practices. If you’ve always wanted to try yoga but were intimidated, Try it! Yoga helps with meditating which is crucial. Yoga played a big part in my healing process. Vinyasa or ‘flow yoga’ is the most popular. You are trying things you’ve never tried before and by that you are gaining this new confidence, a new you! A more positive thinking you.
4. Meditating and crystals. It’s hard to meditate , it’s a practice that you have to keep at. If you could meditate every morning and set your intentions for the day, or at night. What helps me is focusing on the breathe. I close my eyes, focus on breathing from the top of my head down to my feet. I would take the Rose Quartz crystal and place it on my heart and meditate with it for 20 minutes.
5. Continue to do things that feel good and explore ideas or things you’ve always wanted to do. I started watching videos on the philosophies of Buddhism and started to practice Lotus Buddhism. It helped me understand and be more forgiving and apologetic. I was discovering an inner calmness in myself and reacting more maturely to situations than how I used to react.
6. I highly recommend to see a reiki specialist. Reiki is an alternative medicine called energy healing. Mine helped me cut chords I was holding onto from past relationships and aligned. Y chakras and unblocked some where I was holding energy. I came out of there feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
7. Write down exactly what you are looking for. Down to the color of the eyes to personality traits to what he does and how it will serve you.
8. Manifest, meditate, continue to believe and attract and be the best version of you.
9. There is the right one out there for you. Do not settle and trust the universe. The universe rewards you and reacts to how you vibrate.
Tijen the Vegan 
